Right is wrong, wrong is right, worse man wins

Do you sometimes have that feeling when you do something right that it's wrong, and opposite?

I did something that was good, honest and right [in my opinion at least that is], yet I feel bad cause this may have bad outcome. Shit, I hate this kind of situations.

I spoke yesterday to a friend of mine, the most honest and loyal man I know. We came to conclusion [after few beers] that being good guy 1) sucks, 2) have no future. What's the use of being good, noone will care about it, you miss opportunities cause you have stupid things like 'rules'. Most of all it makes us, good guys, unhappy. So what's the fucking point? There's no point, nothing, nada, zip. Fuck it.

So will Jackal be fat bastard? Who knows... maybe.. we'll see ;) Till then, bye bye.

Old friends

I've met two old friends yesterday. I haven't seen both in a very long time.
It's funny how time goes by. You eat at McDonalds [yeah, yeah I know] and across the room you see friend you haven't seen in 2 years. Someone you used to see on daily basis. In the pub, at the party, wherever. Then it suddenly stops.. No news, no info, nothing. Time goes by. And you meet again.

Anywho, in unrelated notice I picked interesting exerpt from Bill Hicks 'Relentless' stand up show. It's about drugs and I find it very amusing. I hope you will too, get it here..

It came to me suddenly

Drugs.... drugs man.. drugs are bad, get it?
Yet.. You look down the bottle, smoke that cig or joint, eat that pill and for a moment you are in oblivion. You're in heaven, valhalla in zzion... Wherever the fuck you want to be..

Or maybe you should just be here. I know it's dull, and not very uplifting place and very often 'here' sucks, but 'here' is the only place we've got...
Who knows.. I'm not the one to judge this. I know I am here, and I awfuly would like to be some place else. Somewhere with someone, somewhere with noone, anywhere with anyone, anywhere with noone.

Being... just being...

At one point the time and space fractures, bends and unveils wonders that were never ment to be seen.. Next time you try to find that point... Please be advised, this may end bad... Again.. who am I to judge.. I will seek this point again.. and again.. until the end :(

Living among people

Living among people is like swimming in the ocean.
You are surrounded by water, yet you can die from thirst...

I've been asked today why although I can have access to everything I need and desire (fun, movies, drink and dance), am I so deeply unhappy. And the above sentence came to my head.

I am meteorite, flying thru space, passing other people like planets, heading for unknown yet inevitable. Sometimes high, sometimes low, sometimes near, usually far, far away. Void behind me, void infront of me. I am passing your sight, and yet you may not notice me at all, blinded by the sun or shortsighted by clouds...

Maybe I will float away, reach some place where my existance will end or maybe I will come back many times only to remind you that I am here and I will be back again..

Outside

I feel so... weird...

All the times, that I felt like this won't end
It's for you
And I taste, what I could never have
It was from you
All the times, that I've tried
My intentions... Full of pride...
But I waste, more time than anyone

/Staind-Outside/

Mein Lebenschmerz

What can I say. Mein Schmerz des Lebens, goes on. And until Det Tod comes for me I have to stick around.
Surrounded, pressed against the wall, doing things against my will.
Trying to find way, trying to meet right people, avoid wrong ones. Making decisions. One after other. Only to find out that they were all wrong.
I looked back. A year have passed.. One year, one month and one day. And few hours. Since I had my chance to turn my world around. I even tried, but I have failed along the way. 3 months into that 1Y1M1D period it was going well. I even had chance to change some things about my life. Chance I didn't see at the moment, and the chance I eventually missed. Lebenschmerz goes on.

I'm eating candy bar I bought downstairs
Label on inside of the wrapping says "Sorry, that's the wrong bar".
.. I didn't win.. again.
Maybe among dozens of candy bars in the shop downstair there's a "You have won 3000 Euro" bar..
And maybe someone will pick it up, eat the candy bar and threw away the wrapping.. 3000 Euro will be lost.. Nobody wins, nobody is happy. But that's not bothering me. That's just luck, but many things are not luck, but decissions.

Again and again. I continue to make wrong decissions. Some of them are not my fault, many are. And being fully aware of the wrong decisions I have made, situations I have made them into and the rest of it I feel really bad about myself, my life.. and that is my Lebenschmerz..

peace

Man from UNKLE

Just kidding, I'm not about that cheesy show.

Actually I'm listening to recent UNKLE album - Never never land.
Aaaand I watched Scary Movie 3 yesterday [finally].
What can I say, I can go both with high brow and low brow entertainment..
I've read recently on ./ about this guy, Michael Hanscom sacked from Microsoft after posting photo of Macs G5 being delivered to Microsoft facility he used to be employee of. I think M$ went little over the edge with this one, I think that he should get some kind of the reprimend but sacking him was way too harsh.
A friend of mine, Hardcore [renowned DJ btw] was sacked as SysAdm at Gazeta Wyborcza daily after his boss read on usenet about some comment of HC abusing drugs at some party.

In other news. Fox News denies any plans of sueing Fox [yeah, it's same happy company] over Simpsons episode mocking Fox News and it's devotion to Republican party. But in every even false story there's a seed of truth. I don't think Matt Groening just went on national radio and spoke out of his ass, come on :)

Blah. Whatever. Till then, bye bye.

Blood, gore, and grotesque

What does Quentin Tarantino and Chris Cunnigham have in common?
For start they are both acclaimed directors that have tendency to push the limits as far as possible.
 

I've been to the cinema yesterday to see QT newest flick - Kill Bill vol. 1. And I have to say I liked this movie very much.
It's a really weird movie but if you like a lot of blood and unnecessary violence - wohay, it's a winner.
Here's my first reaction, just as I came home yesterday:

[00:00] <jackal> kill bill is a nice movie
[00:00] <jackal> tarantino at it's best
[00:00] <jackal> gore and flesh
[00:00] <jackal> kitsch and genious
[00:01] <jackal> if you make kitsch so absorbing, interesting and inspired at some point you cross the line you can't call it kitsch anymore
[...]
[00:03] <jackal> it was not violent
[00:03] <jackal> it was too bloody to be violent
[00:03] <jackal> at some point you cross the line that was ment for horror movies
[00:04] <jackal> in horror movies gore and flesh is all there is to it
[00:04] <jackal> [kitsch horror movies that is]
[00:04] <jackal> what makes them funny


Yes. Kill Bill is bloody funny (punt intended), if you liked previous Tarentino movies (or his protegees Roberto Rodriguez) you will like this one too.

But what does it have to do with Cunnigham? According to SkyCAM (aka. german berserker :P) this movie is at points grotesque, and I have to give him that he's right. At some points this movie goes far beyond good ol' katana slashing, steps over cold body of B-class horror movies and becomes so grotesque that in the most wicked way it becomes funny thru the violence and bloodshed. I can't wait for 'Kill Bill vol.2' if it will ever happen, as well as for new Cunningham sick vids. 'Come to daddy' :)

I'm antimatter, I don't matter

Hey, this song is nice!
You don't believe me? Listen to new album from DA MAN - Tricky.
Don't bash me, I know it's old news, but hey, there are some people who still believe that Iraq had weapon of mass destruction.

In other news. I've been out for a beer, first time in like a week or two. I'm flat broke, so I can't go to the pub so often :/ I'm in little debt [apart from big debt, I owe Pawel a lot of money]. Quick reminder - I borrowed 20 zl from Robert, fiver from Edyta and fiver from Jasio. 30 zl.. so far. and I'm week away from pay day. Thank god I got nothing for that week, yet if I had money I could think about going to Lodz for EZ Rollers or something..

OK, now back to work. I have few things to do, and they won't do themselve.. Till then, bye bye.

>> warsaw << 68 >>

>> warsaw << 68 >> - Let the night hit your heart / I know that this is what you deeply want / tell me what you feel on the road curve / You leave me 68 tears...

Now this is odd track. Very nice odd, track. While it sounds like an oldie infact it's a new track from very promising new project of polish rock scene oldtimers.

Although most of you won't understand a bit from the song, you can go to Warsaw homepage and d/l it for free. Woohoo.. free track! :P :) Till then, bye bye.

Get flashed get mobbed

C'est moi!: Moi, and Madej, and Wojtek (Madej's in-law) [left to right]. First things first. Flash mobs got to Poland (you may like it or not. I like it). It's not a new idea to gather and do silly things. I call it partying. But when you gather complete strangers, give them some absurd task you can sit and watch people go by in complete astound (is it a word anyway?). Today second evah flashmob was held in Warsaw, and although turnout was low, I hope it will become popular, cause it's helllotta fun.

In other news. I played Max Payne 2 and HL2-CS:CZ beta [yeah. ANON rel] today. I must say. Props to MP2 guys. I loved the first part, it was outrageous. This one is good too, maybe it didn't bring me to my knees as first part did, but fact is that once I launched it, I played for 8 hours straight. 3-4 more hours and I'm done with the game. It's short, but hell. I don't mind it at all. My favorite thing in MP - dream sequence.. Well.. In MP2 is terrific. I love it. Looks like someone is doing too much acid ;P LSD is bad mmmkay? :P :))
Now.. I wonder if MP3 will come out.. Cause you know.. You know..

As for HL2.. Ugh.. This is.. Well.. Little disappointing. VALVE.. Please.. Guys.. Ask Rockstar ppl how to make games.. The overhyped HL2 engine so far is quite uninteresting.. Unlike in Max Payne... Game is unoptimized - look what Rockstar did to GTA:VC! It runs on Voodoo3 for Pete's sake! Valve. Until you come with reasonable game, I refuse to buy it :P

Till then, bye bye :)

Music can be cheap! Well...

According to this piece of news [polish only, sorry], retail CDs can be cheap [or even dirt cheap].
Polish music industry always whining [just as music industry in any given country] will have to fight a new war.. with artists and independent releases.. It's not said per se, but this is how it looks like. New.. very promising trend on the market...

Ich Troje, crap pop band started the revolution it seems. I was never too fond of that perticular group but this seems to a step in good direction. Their previous album was sold at 29,99 PLN (~ $6), which is half the price you usually have to pay for major label CDs here. Then there was this nice CD compilation by one of the nationwide radio stations sold at 9,99 PLN (~ $2).. Now the upcomming solo album from infamous Michal Wisniewski, Ich Troje frontman is going to be sold for 5 PLN (little over $1)... I wonder what overhead will have retailers on that. Even with 30% they usually add, it will be still dirt cheap.

Funny enough Michal Wisniewski is well known for his strong views on piracy. Once during live interview he described people making illicit copies as 'fucking thieves' [sic!].
Now.. I don't say all CDs should be sold for $1... but at $3-$4, I don't see how pirates would go down with price...
On the other hand, some of you remember the famous Massive Attack '11 Promos' DVD.. Retailers made MA label to increase price to match regular music DVDs...

Oh wel.. till then, bye bye.

Work work work

Work makes you free.. right. I'm little sick of the work. I can't say I bust my ass, but it's little annoying.. That's all. First thing I do when I finish all the projects is pack up and go for a holiday or something. Dunno where. I'd love to go to some nice, warm country.. But that means a lot of money, which I don't have ;/ Crap... oh well.. and I want to go on a little road trip next summer.. well.. fuck it all.. till then, bye bye

FOAMY'S RANT

Listen to FOAMY'S RANT. Somehow I feel bad about myself... Maybe that little freaking cat/gerbil/whatever the hell that is, is right. Maybe I also validate myself by being [or rather by not being] in relationship.. No inner strength whatsoever.. Till then, bye bye.

Dido - Life for rent

Dido Life for rent arista records, 2003

Jesus.. girl! Make up your mind! Downtempo? Or maybe little faster after all?
I can't say I don't like Didos new album, I love it! But I have to say it's mellow.. sometimes even too mellow.. even for me.
Very nice instrumetalisation, along with Didos sweet voice, and hey, do I hear Rollo (Didos brother, he's in Faithless!) influence? All those little deep, ambient sounds here and there. I think many good mixes will come with upcomming singles from the album (for god sake, dear dj's uptempo some tracks! I beg you! :) ).
Album varies from track to track. As I've said before there are some deep, ambient beats, along with regular pop. Some dance? Yeah sure.
Best tracks in my very humble opinion - Stoned, Sand in my shoes, and this nice trippy White Flag tune..
OK, peace I'm out. You can agree or not.. I don't care ;)

Bad boys, bad boys, watcha gonna do...

Hello.
It's Friday, last day of the week. It's 2:40 and I just got home. I have to say I had very very nice evening. Went to the movies and for a beer with a friend, a really cute and witty girl.

The movie we went to (Bad Boys II) was a regular Don Simpson/Jerry Bruckheimer production movie, and when you add Michael 'blow it all up' Bay as director you get funny, stupid action movie. Except for exaggerations regarding Cuba and cliche of club and drug culture it was a-okay.

OK, for now I have to get some sleep. I have rough day ahead today, maybe I will have to talk to university headmaster (or maybe on monday), plus I have a lot to do at work.. "you know.. for the kids"... regular drill... whatever. I'm talking out of my ass right now..

Good night.. till then, bye bye.

I'm not crazy.. am I?

Damn, this Matchbox twenty song fits me so well.. but why? :)

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me

He denied so we thought he had it... WHAT??

Chat on IM. English version follows, don't worry.

---

madej (17:09)
"Szef zespołu ekspertów z CIA David Kay, który poszukiwał broni masowego rażenia w Iraku, rozważa mośliwość, że Saddam Husajn blefował, udając iż zamierza wyposażyć w nią swoich dowódców, aby odstraszyć USA od inwazji."
madej (17:09)
GRR
madej (17:09)
a ja myslalem, ze Saddam caly czas mowil ze nie ma

madej (17:09)
"David Kay, chief of the CIA experts seeking WMD in Iraq ,suggested that Saddam Hussein bluffed about pursue to arm Iraqi troops with WMD in order to scare USA away from invasion."
madej (17:09)
GRR
madej (17:09)
and I thought, that Saddam all along was saying that he doesn't have it

---

Shit, true :) 'he denied so we thought he had it'.. what kind of fucking moronic explanation is that?
"- I don't have it!
- HA! You denied it! You gotta have it, I'll kick your ass.
- No.. wait.. I do have it.
- See I was right all along - now I have to kick your ass"

Sounds like a bully on school yard? Surely it does. And I thought that according to any civilised law you are not guilty unless proven otherwise... And that times of countries like USSR which acted 'you are guilty unless you prove us you're innocent' are gone.. I was wrong..

Till then, bye bye

- Welcome to the world of tomorrow

Mkay, I've started reading Science of Discworld I just bought. I must say, I've expected something light and nice in usual Discworld mood but this book is surprisingly [as for Pratchett] tough. It's full of actual references, and little of Discworld magic we all know and love.. Still this, book, although very different from the whole series, is fun to read. Science, physic, has never been so fun. Anyways, maybe I will have some more time to read it later but now I have to catch up with the project. It's due tomorrow, and I have to rewrite everything :( Till then, bye bye

Pink Floyd - Money (1981 version)..

Money, get away
Get a good job with more pay and your ok
Money it's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
New car, caviar, four star daydream,
Think I'll buy me a football team

Money get back
I'm all right Jack keep your hands off my stack.
Money it's a hit
Don't give me that do goody good bullshit
I'm in the hi-fidelity first class traveling set
And I think I need a Lear jet

Money it's a crime
Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie
Money so they say
Is the root of all evil today
But if you ask for a rise it's no surprise that they're
giving none away

And tomorrow.. I will have to go to work.. and make money.. and so the day after that.. and so on and so forth. Fuck it. I'm off to watch 'According to her, according to him' (Kasia i Tomek) and then Royal Tenenbaums on HBO. Till then, bye bye.