Mein Lebenschmerz

What can I say. Mein Schmerz des Lebens, goes on. And until Det Tod comes for me I have to stick around.
Surrounded, pressed against the wall, doing things against my will.
Trying to find way, trying to meet right people, avoid wrong ones. Making decisions. One after other. Only to find out that they were all wrong.
I looked back. A year have passed.. One year, one month and one day. And few hours. Since I had my chance to turn my world around. I even tried, but I have failed along the way. 3 months into that 1Y1M1D period it was going well. I even had chance to change some things about my life. Chance I didn't see at the moment, and the chance I eventually missed. Lebenschmerz goes on.

I'm eating candy bar I bought downstairs
Label on inside of the wrapping says "Sorry, that's the wrong bar".
.. I didn't win.. again.
Maybe among dozens of candy bars in the shop downstair there's a "You have won 3000 Euro" bar..
And maybe someone will pick it up, eat the candy bar and threw away the wrapping.. 3000 Euro will be lost.. Nobody wins, nobody is happy. But that's not bothering me. That's just luck, but many things are not luck, but decissions.

Again and again. I continue to make wrong decissions. Some of them are not my fault, many are. And being fully aware of the wrong decisions I have made, situations I have made them into and the rest of it I feel really bad about myself, my life.. and that is my Lebenschmerz..

peace