Henry speaks to me

I think you got a low self opinion man
I see you standing all by yourself
Unable to express the pain of your distress
You withdraw deeper inside
You alienate yourself
And everybody else
They wonder what's on your mind
They got so tired of you
And your self ridicule
They wrote you off and left you behind

Yeah that's something about me. I am. The. Low self opinion man. Come on.. Speak to me Henry... Henry -freakin- Rollins... I can say the guy is my personal hero. I don't quite follow him, but I admire him deeply. Rocker, actor, writer, poet, stand-up comedian, man of wit, publisher of music and books that have no chance in hell to reach mass market. Trully remarkable persona. I would really like to meet this guy. And with my luck.. I just might.. Somehow I feel it's feasible. I would like to shake his hand. Look in the eyes.. and say... 'Man. I hope in 20 years I will be just like you... yeah... just maybe with some girl and stuff like that...'.
There are people like me out there. Lost. Confused. Mislead, misguided, mistreated, mis*... Life is so uterly fucked up.
What is whole fucking meaning, purpose, goal, of this self-degradating process. I'm winding in this corporate machine. In few years there won't be place for 'jackal'. It will be Peter. Then Mr. Peter.

I've been told by someone who is not per se well-wisher, that I am not one who strays from the path. That was the best thing I have been told today. It gave me some boost. Made me believe in myself for a minute or so. Then it faded away...

In other news. I've been to rave-like new years eve party. Real kickass. Friends, acquaintants, friendly strangers. All bound by the music, the atmosphere that fell on that place and took thoughts away from the harshness. For the sake of auld lang syne